If Martha Stewart ever ding dong ditched, I imagine it went down like this.
She spent the morning collecting the most beautiful and fragrant flowers from her garden before tying them together artfully with a brightly colored gossamer ribbon. After returning her well-oiled shears to their designated gardening tools spot, she re-applied some lip gloss and tightened her shoelaces.
At a brisk, efficient pace, she jogged up to an elderly neighbor’s doorstep. She arranged the flowers in a pleasing way to showcase their (above mentioned) fragrance and beauty. She hit the bell and high-tailed it out of there. Being Martha, she hid behind a nearby topiary bush and captured her neighbor’s surprised and delighted face for posterity (or possibly for inclusion in a future holiday letter).
Now, let me tell you how our version went down.
First of all, I grabbed as many of my kids to join in my impromptu weekend activity. Where’s the fun if you don’t drag your kids in on the craziness?
With our rusty, left-in-the-rain-once-too-often-shears, we found the few flowers not dead or dying in our garden and trimmed them within an inch of their short, remaining life. (I would like Martha to know that we DID find some pleasing ribbon and used this to pretty up our sad, wilting bouquet.)
I skipped the lip gloss and instead sent Angus ahead as our scout. Since he’s small I figured our elderly neighbor wouldn’t see him right away.
I should have foreseen the obvious. Angus doesn’t follow directions. Ever. He ran right up to Mrs. Jack’s door, rang the bell and handed the flowers to her.
Finny and I stood in full view of her front door and waved happily as she attempted to follow Angus’ explanation as to why he was handing her flowers. She nodded. We waved. She waved. Angus turned around and waved at us. We waved back at him.
While clearly not a stealth operation, I think Martha would consider it a success.