I’ve always said that no one knows what happens inside a marriage but the two who are in it.
Still, when my friend tells me last week that she and her husband are divorcing I feel sad: for her, for her husband and for her daughter. I’m sad for all their dreams they shared as they started their life together as a couple. I’m sad for all the plans they made as parents of a young child, a new family of three. I’m sad for how those dreams shifted and split as years and circumstances changed both them and the things they wanted or needed.
“Don’t be sad,” she says, promising me that she is thrilled for her future and excited about starting this new chapter. I tell her I won’t. Ultimately, I want what’s best for her.
Being a friend means supporting choices. Whether it be divorcing or staying together, parenting styles or lifestyle choices, a friend is a friend.
It’s been a crazy day with the boys but I know without a doubt that I need to make the effort and stop by my friend’s housewarming party. A. and I pick up something to bring and we schlep over.
My spirits and energy immediately lift as I see her in her new kitchen smiling and laughing. “Welcome,” she calls from her barstool throne. “Welcome to me new home!”
She offers me hot tea, something to eat, a hug. All things that say home. She outlines her plans for her new space as we walk from room to room. “I’m going to knock out this wall,” she says pointing. “And redo this bathroom.”
I offer my SUV for moving this week. “Whatever you need,” I say. “You’ll call?”
She smiles yes. And I know, without a doubt, that she’s going to be OK.